Holding our hearts gently
Creating everyday magic during the holiday season
Hello friends,
The Christmas lights have been strung! The menorah is out! The festive season is here - along with all the feelings that come with it.
There is something about the holidays that seem to make us feel everything more. Traditions recreate the sensory experiences and memories of childhood. Joy is powerful. And grief can cut through even more acutely.
The most important thing to do right now is to hold our hearts gently.
I am writing this while watching Rose take a nap on the couch. We were supposed to be on a plane today (well, technically, we were supposed to be on a plan four days ago, but that’s another story). We received the text that our flight was cancelled just as we were getting ready to leave for the airport. It was profoundly disappointing to know we would have less time with our loved ones, and also have more travel chaos to contend with.
Disappointment, for one reason or another, is common around this time of year. We all have hopes and dreams - not all of which can come true.
The closing of the year is a time to take stock of where our life stands in relationship to our goals and wishes.
This is also a time of gathering for many families, so we have to confront our hopes and dreams there as well, about relationships that for whatever reason are complicated: particularly where we feel the absence of love and closeness where we most want and need it.
But alongside setbacks or difficulty, there can be joy.
The trick is that we have to know how to look for it, and how to cultivate it when we spot the seeds.
For me, the trick is seeking out the small moments. Today, our family made chocolate chip cookies, using some of our stash of real American (but allergy-friendly) chocolate chips. They remind me of the amazing cookies my sisters perfected during their high school days, and made me feel close to them even though we are thousands of miles away this year.
Zach and I had a laugh at the fact that we are unpacking our bags yet again, and tried to look for ways to make the most of the situation we had, even if it was not the one we would have chosen. (Recommended: Christmas music and guilt-free extra TV time.)
These small moments gave a big lift to a day that could have otherwise been a real downer.
This approach to life is one that I had an opportunity to hone after I received my second cancer diagnosis (though I have to be honest that I still I struggle to get to that positive place with unnerving regularity). It was just too depressing to imagine going through cancer treatment in a state of unrelenting misery - my heart couldn’t take it. So throughout the experience, in spite of the pandemic and all the other challenges we encountered, my guiding philosophy and motto was ‘more fun this time’. I was lucky that my friends and loved ones exuberantly embraced this, and it made all the difference.
Well, fortunately, it looks like this motto works for missed flights too. (Flight delays: more fun this time!)
Stuff happens - from big scary things, to stupid bureaucratic inconveniences. Rather than being jolted out of our happiness every time, we can come to expect these upheavals as part of life, and realise that this is where the art of living truly comes into its own.
Lowering our grand (and not necessarily realistic) expectations and savouring life’s details can save us when times are tough - I know this, because it was true for me.
Hope lives in the details.
I hope no matter your circumstances, you are able to find joy, connection and beauty in this season.
Personal plugs
Christmas in the City by Barlow & Smith
Christmas season can only mean one thing… Barlow & Smith Christmas music!!!
It was a huge milestone for us when we released our debut album, marking our first proper foray into the studio, producing our songs with full band, mastering, the works! We LOVED writing these Christmas songs and it’s been a real joy to share them.
The best way to support us is to buy a copy (iTunes link here), but if that’s not in the budget, you can also find us on Spotify, Amazon, and other streaming sites. We’d be thrilled to have a place on your holiday playlist!
The Nature of Forgetting by Theatre Re
I think it’s been nearly a decade now that I’ve had the privilege of supporting Guillaume Pigé and the amazing Theatre Re in developing their shows.
I worked as Dramaturg on their acclaimed production of The Nature of Forgetting. After some 150 shows around the world, it will be returning next month - at Shoreditch Town Hall in London from 18-22 January, and also UK tour dates. (Full tour schedule is here.)
I’d really love it if you could see this special production - and I’m booked in to attend on 19 January, so if you come on that date I will hopefully see you there!
Selected praise:
‘Profoundly moving... an action-packed celebration of life’ BBC Radio 4
'Extraordinary... So special, so surprising... It's magical' Sarah Jessica Parker
What’s New
The latest from Where The Roses Bloom:
A poem: If I forget to say thank you
A creative career is like a combination lock - Or: good advice from my husband
I’ve been quite protective about sharing posts from my second experience of cancer treatment, but it felt right to bring it out now, given the theme of this newsletter (and frankly, I was surprised to discover that I hadn’t published this already). More Fun This Time - a cancer motto.
Plus a Throwback…
I know this time of year can be particularly difficult when you have lost someone. This is a poem that sees sorrow, and offers comfort: Crossings.
How I’m Doing
I think I will save the proper update about my health until the next newsletter. But there is a reason I’ve been quiet over the last couple of months. It has been a busy Autumn. I hit three treatment milestones (two surgeries, one new infusion therapy) and honestly, there is a lot to unpack there.
But I am feeling good and still cancer free, so feeling very grateful for that!
Good Art Friends
One of my favourite things about this time of year is the holiday music, so here are a few brilliant seasonally-inspired performances to brighten your day!
Rejoice Greatly from Handel’s Messiah, sung by Winnie Nieh. The best performances of this song make it sound effortless, but this betrays how unbelievably difficult this solo is to sing well. Back when I was singing a lot of classical music I spent quite a while working on this piece in voice lessons, and never managed to crack it. In fact, what was probably my most embarrassing audition of all time was with this song, and yet I still felt proud of myself afterwards for even having attempted it! Winnie and I sang together in choir during university, and she was brilliant then, but has gotten even better with time. This is an example of how the pros do it!
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, performed by BEATVOX. Callum Melville is an incredible performer who has featured in a number of our cabarets and on our Christmas album (see above!), and sang Tenor 1 in BEATVOX. This whole group is wonderful, but because I love his voice so much, his performance is a highlight for me - the evenness and ease of those staccato notes is a masterclass. This video came out six years ago, and since then, whenever the holidays roll around, I usually set aside an afternoon to listen to it about 10 times in a row because I love it so much.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town, sung by Joseph Anthony. This is a performance from my very talented cousin! I was really bummed I didn’t get to see his Christmas cabaret in New York this year, so I was really delighted to be able to catch this snippet of his great performance. This is just a sample of the song but well worth a watch - this is what Christmas sounds like.
Wishing you joy and happiness!
For now,
Alli
PS I only realised when reflecting backwards that my last newsletter had the subject line ‘holding our breath’, and now we have moved on to ‘holding our hearts?’ Perhaps this is coincidence, but it feels too perfectly parallel for this. Perhaps I have stumbled on the beginning of a little series? I wonder what we shall be holding next?